nikhil.io

NEW YORK—Claiming he could easily fit into a similar position at most companies, local CEO Mike Waltke told reporters Monday that his skill set was transferable to any job that requires an inept dumbass to receive a big salary. “I have the incompetence necessary to effortlessly transition into a r…

Caption by CO 🤣…

I love me my cowsay. It’s a lovely amusement that greets me every time I open a terminal session. People typically use it with the fortune command but my cow moos a random developer excuse. I generate that using this bash function and this invocation: command -v cowsay >/dev/null 2>&1 &am…

Trenchant, brilliant stuff by William Kennedy 💯 (Cached)…

Was doing some digital house-keeping and came by a cached copy of that by MisterBG. Things haven’t changed too much over the past two decades……

When he was young he had prided himself on being clever. Walking down the street, not even thinking anything, just walking along like every other moron, he’d had a distinct sense of how clever he was. He’d never done anything with that cleverness except write stupid articles and make occasionally…

People ask me why in 2023 I’m still rocking a mullet. Easy answer. Without the lettuce I’m just a guy that says dumb shit all the time. When I say dumb shit with the mullet, it’s like my face is saying one thing out front, and my mullet is apologizing out back. My mullet is “Dumb shit out front, I…

Definitely the future of television I had in mind was me having to google every movie I want to watch to see if it’s currently in one of its one-month windows on any of the seven streaming services I pay for. This is way easier than buying a DVD. I love it. @chasemit…

Things are going well with the Metaverse: In a follow-up memo dated September 30th, [Vishal] Shah1 said that employees still weren’t using Horizon enough, writing that a plan was being made to “hold managers accountable” for having their teams use Horizon at least once a week. “Everyone in this org…

I feel very personally attacked by Mr. Lovenstein. And somehow glad I’m not the only person who, for instance, purchases a glorious WaterRower1 and proceeds to give it a thousand cumulative and approximate ‘pulls’ over three years. 🤦‍♀️ Because he saw it in House of Cards and thought it looked sic…

Via Ellen 💯…

McMaster: called him a dope with the intelligence of a kindergartner Mattis: called him a 5th grader. Mnuchin: called him an idiot. Graham: called him a complete idiot. Priebus: called him an idiot. John Kelly: called him a f***ing idiot. Tillerson: called him a f***ing moron. Cohn: called him dumb…

Jira is middle-management-ware, a term I made up for software that serves the needs of middle management, or, at least, the needs middle management thinks it has, which comes to the same thing as long as you’re selling to them. (link) Jira is a tire fire. It should be condemned and officially des…

101st Chairborne 1st Methanized Infantile Division Al-Kabob Army National Lard Battle of The Bulging Stomach Bozo Haram Branch Covidians Buffet Brigade Bundesmeal Call of Foodie Chowed Boys Cosplaytriots Country Bombkins Coup Klutz Clan CroMAGAnons Cult 45 Delta Farce Delta Forks Fryatollahs G.I. J…

My dudes. Cached here via YouTube because it is too precious to be yanked off the internet. Via Rob G. /misc/w/wednesday.mp4 It also occurred to me that the OS in the video would be more usable, more respectful, and less full of spyware than the giant crock of shit that is Windows 11.…

It’s what all the Patagonia-clads are raving about. They tell me it solves all perf problems in a snap. Update Here’s an NPM package. And, of course, Java if you’d like to deploy this in an Enterprise™ setting.…

Behold the story of a Master Strategist, a 5D-Chess playing Svengali absorbed in his craft 🙏🔥…

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. This really got me: My job is to keep our code running while other packagers are changing theirs. Lord have mercy. NPM continued use and existence is proof that (Almost) Every Day is a Miracle ✨…

As far as Indian Gurus go, I find this guy more illumined and full of practical, actionable advice than, say, this guy, less full of shit than this one, and definitely less batshit crazy than this one. /misc/t/true-purpose-of-life.mp4 Via LT 🙏 Update The creator of the video is Masood Boomgaard. He…

A couple from snowy Minnesota decided to take a winter vacation back in the simple Florida resort where they had stayed for a honeymoon twenty-five years before. Because of his wife’s delayed work schedule, the husband went first, and then when he got there he received a message that she would me…

Lessons learned from “Frog and Toad Together”: Don’t be like Toad and yell at your seeds. Do what you must with love and care and leave them be. They’ll be fine. “But when?!”…

I like nothing more in the world than sitting on my ass doing nothing. And it’s not my fault I have this attitude, because I happen to have an amazingly comfortable ass. It may not look like much, but if you could sit on this baby for two minutes, you’d realize that getting off this ass would be a…

These articles are from a while ago. I love them a lot. By Michael Deacon. That’s true, mused the accomplished composer of thrillers that combined religion, high culture and conspiracy theories. His books were read by everyone from renowned politician President Obama to renowned musician Britney S…

This is a clip from the very funny Kathleen Madigan’s 2016 standup special Bothering Jesus. I’ve been saying it a lot these days. It’s just tremendously satisfying to say. /misc/m/mermaid-lady.mp3…

Software is and has been engaged in an endless race to the bottom. Wrong. The Achievements of the software industry over the last thirty years are astonishing. They’ve managed to entirely negate several orders of magnitude of performance improvements provided by the hardware industry. Anonymous.…

Here’s Bryan Cantrill’s classic assessment of Oracle Corporation (taken from this talk.) /misc/b/bryan-cantrill-oracle-1.mp4 On Twitter, a year after that video: If you were an enterprise database customer who hadn’t heard of the Nazis, might it be easiest to explain them with Oracle allegory? @b…

Journalist David Walsh recounting a story about his late son John in the context of his work uncovering Lance Armstrong and the USPS Pro Cycling Team’s “most sophisticated, professionalised and successful”1 doping program. One story stood out. One of John’s teachers at [inaudible] National School…

Someday aliens are going to land their saucers in a field somewhere in New Jersey and everything is going to go just fine right up until we try to explain our calendar to them “yeah we divide our year into a number of sub units called ‘months’ made up a number of days, and they’re not all the same l…

He leads the existence of a real bohemian intellectual. Washing, grooming and changing his linen are things he does rarely, and he likes to get drunk. Though he is often idle for days on end, he will work day and night with tireless endurance when he has a great deal of work to do. He has no fi…

Renay Mandel Corren passed away at 84 a week ago (RIP 🙏). Her son wrote what is one of the best obituaries I’ve read in a while. A small excerpt: Here’s what Renay was great at: dyeing her red roots, weekly manicures, dirty jokes, pier fishing, rolling joints and buying dirty magazines. She said s…

Excellent stuff, particularly the mechanical keyboard envy1. There’s a Nikhil in it too! 💁‍♂️ I don’t think I’ll get into them. Got myself one of these (brown switches) about three years ago after outsourcing the research to a highly enthusiastic and helpful co-worker. The “L” key sticks sometimes…

Yeah, Nic Cage brings the same intensity to almost every role he does. If it’s not a very good role, it’s gonna stand out as being bad. To put it another way, imagine a boxer that is very good at knocking people out. That’s impressive. Now imagine he accepts fights against children as well, and he…

Because we don’t simply write non-annoying and non-creepy software that respects you and does the thing you want it to do anymore. Gotta deliver Value™ to all key stakeholders. By which we mean ourselves and the Market. Not you. You are nothing more than Data that taps “Purchase” to us.…

Stephen Crowley is a product designer who maintains @ShitUserStory, my favorite new Twitter account1 (via Deepu). He also maintains a Medium blog with gems like these: “Can Squid Game make you a better UX designer?” (cached) “What I’ve learnt about design from parenting a toddler.” (cached) “How I…

If you took “Buttons” by The Pussycat Dolls and deep-fried it in stale peanut oil, you would get the result below. It’s by Youtuber Dii and it’s all I’ve been humming for the past 48 hours. /misc/b/buttons-dii.mp4…

Forgot to add this to my Collection of Shitkraken. Two lawyers who currently work for Trump or in the former president’s inner orbit say they want absolutely nothing to do with her and have cautioned others in MAGAland to do the same. One said they’d recently deleted her phone number. Two other peo…

Old stuff, but always immensely satisfying to read ♥️…

by the wonderful Amii James (Insta)…

Certainly looks like it, Mr. Hlas. Go Hawks 🤘…

I’m not saying there’s going to be a schism or anything, but I’m not not saying that, either. This is just genius. (Cached)…

Amdahl’s Law The speedup gained from running a program on a parallel computer is greatly limited by the fraction of that program that can’t be parallelized. Augustine’s Second Law of Socioscience For every scientific (or engineering) action, there is an equal and opposite social reaction. Brooks…

Danny Pudi keeping it real. /misc/l/larry-ducktales-danny-pudi.mp4 “Uh… a luxury you can’t live without.” “A luxury I can’t live without… Coffee. I really like it.” “Luxury… you can get it anywhere.” “Ah I guess, yeah. Like good coffee…” “I love coffee too.” “I like nice socks.” “Socks. Your socks…

I will always let my puppy inspect everything for approval (and, usually, immediate loss of interest.)…

Low resolution but enough to make the point. /misc/e/every-website-2021.mp4 See also: Every Website in 2019 and 2018. The mobile web is a garbage nightmare shitshow (especially if you want to read any fucking news.)…

“Just say we won,” Giuliani reportedly instructed Trump’s team, explaining that they should simply declare victory in each battleground state. Giuliani is then said to have told Trump directly: “Just go declare victory right now… You’ve got to go declare victory now.” Some solid strategery here. T…

Of course. The Best People, folks. He did mention the use of “the binomial probability formula”, so there’s that at least. He’s being sued by Dominion Systems, along key members of his Daddy’s Elite Strike-Force Legal team. Shitkraken keeps on giving ♥️…

The Fearless Leader’s motion was denied as well. Pillow Bro as well. The best people. “As an initial matter, there is no blanket immunity for statements that are “political” in nature: as the Court of Appeals has put it, the fact that statements were made in a “political ‘context’ does not indiscri…

Don Gorske started eating them in 1972 and continues to do so. He will buy 6-8 at a time twice a week (at the same McDonald’s franchise) to save on gas. He’s kept all boxes and receipts, which I suppose are what you’d need to apply for and maintain a Guinness Record. Emphasis mine: Seriously, if yo…

Lovely Python-esque stuff. /misc/c/cricket-absurd.mp4…

Just some quick notes about a piece of shit from the hit machine that is Conservative Tech. The Freedom Phone is another grift for those inside the Sphere of Shit who are upset that their Orange Daddy got censored by Facebook (that mighty ethical paragon of Silicon Valley) and Twitter (they aight.)…

I used to have a printout of this at my desk at work because I just loved looking at it so much 🌸♥️ It was pretty popular on the internet a while ago. The little girl’s name is Butedmaa and she was just 5 when this picture was taken in 2003 by photographer Han Chengli, who titled it “Inner Mongoli…

Pathetic and Evil: “The next time you see someone in a mask on the sidewalk or on the bike path, do not hesitate,” Carlson said. “Ask politely but firmly: ‘Would you please take off your mask? Science shows there is no reason for you to be wearing it. Your mask is making me uncomfortable.’” “As…

If you’ve ever installed a program using “curl XYZ | sh” don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine Daniel Feldman ♥️♥️♥️…

I’d really hoped that this embarrassment would’ve been forgotten a few weeks after January 6th. But here we are. “Should an attorney be sanctioned for his or her failure to withdraw allegations the attorney came to know were untrue?,” [U.S. Judge Linda Parker] said during a court hearing held by vi…

Not sure why this actually got to me.…

From an interview with Vincent Connare, creator of Comic Sans: Q. What do you think of comic sans’ detractors? A. I think most of them secretly like Comic Sans — or at least wish they had made it. Interesting fact: the main designer at Twitter tweeted that the most server space is used by complaint…

Once a year, I spend $75 on a good bottle of Scotch Whisky and bring it to Karla’s birthday party. Last year, I brought Talliskers; this year, I brought Cragganmore. I break open the bottle, and ask everyone to take a taste. In this way, we can slowly get an idea of the difference between the variou…

A lecture at UCSB by Douglas Adams (RIP) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZG8HBuDjgc…

Translation copyright 2001 John T. Quinn; all rights reserved. Introduction Philogelos (The Laughter Lover) is a collection of some 265 jokes1 likely made in the fourth or fifth century CE. Some manuscripts give the names of the compilers as the otherwise-unknown Hierocles and Philagrios. Other manu…

By Michael Dearing. Couldn’t find any video and not sure if this is tongue-in-cheek (like the “48 Laws of Power”.) The distortions are: Personal Exceptionalism “I am special.” Dichotomous Thinking “X is sh*t. Y is genius.” Correct Overgeneralization “I see two dots and draw the right line.” Blank-C…

/misc/l/lionel-messi.mp4…

Our learning objectives are straightforward. After taking the course, you should be able to: Remain vigilant for bullshit contaminating your information diet. Recognize said bullshit whenever and wherever you encounter it. Figure out for yourself precisely why a particular bit of bullshit is bulls…

Estimate Actual Time Very Easy 1 Hour Easy 2 Hours Quite Easy 4 Hours Looks Quite Easy 6 Hours Average 8 Hours Looks Average 12 Hours No Clue 16 Hours Seems Complex 24 Hours Complex 30 Hours Very Complex 40 Hours Can Take Some Time 48 Hours Fuck 60 Hours Yeah Looks Pre…

Catherine Scorsese used to drop by her son’s sets with food and good cheer 🤶❤️ She appeared in quite a few of his movies and wrote a cookbook.…

No. It’s just a fucking operating system1. A giant program on a computer. What weird, disconnected, embarrassing bullshit ‘spiritual’ techbro nonsense. “We made a website full of memes you can search through, powered by Bitcoin and Machine-Learning (of course), and are changing the world.” No. Stop…

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads.…

A New Hampshire family says that after a night out to eat at Friendly’s didn’t go so well, a restaurant staffer decided to express their inner feelings through the increasingly preferred medium of the restaurant’s billing system, dropping the phrase “100% sh*t show” at the bottom of the dinner bill.…

Happy Father’s Day to the fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, and father figures who enrich our character, love us unconditionally, and give so much of themselves every day so we can live lives worthy of their dreams and sacrifices. President Joseph R. Biden Jr. And, this is real (as much as you…

This is the best ever episode of “Monkey News”. No further discussion.…

me, a software engineer: large scale production systems are complex and require teams of experts to keep running. It’s near impossible to get right 100% of the time me, when an app I use goes down once: these fucking clowns, what the fuck @aweary…

“You know I wrote this in… when I was looking at the mirror, right?” /misc/p/prince-cream-live.mp4 “I’m serious.”…

All 14 years of the show in a comic by Danby Draws:…

Reddit user and evident Mark Wood fan @kanyay-west put together this list of England’s All-Time Cricketing Best when asked “What’s your country’s all time ODI XI?” I’ve reproduced it here and formatted it for clarity. I laughed a lot to this and am a rather silly person 🙏♥️ Mark Wood Mark Wood Ma…

From 2016 but still very relevant apropos conservatism and isolationism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptfmAY6M6aA…

Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.” Jessica Valenti Now write down “You’re gonna need more carrots” on a sticky and look at it from time to time ♥️…

A most dangerous Easter Egg by Microsoft, known only to the most elite of hackers.…

Somoza called himself “president”. The Sandinistas called him a “dictator”. They called themselves “freedom fighters”. He called them “Commie terrorists”. So they kicked him out then they were in charge. Ronald Reagan called them “Commie oppressors” and he sent in the Contras, whom he called “free…

“I love you, Ted Danson.” /misc/t/top-ten-malkovich.mp4…

Matt Rowan is a family man, a Christian, and a former youth pastor (so we’re off to a fantastic start already). At a high school basketball game, this pillar of the community called children “f****** n******s” for that grave sin of actually kneeling during the national anthem. On the video, Rowan…

I love this more than I can describe.…

Just stop it. /misc/b/bob-newhart-stop-it.mp4 Via Professor Goldsman.…

I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number (delegate), So if something happens (event), Call me, maybe (callback)? LightStriker on StackOverflow…

Back in the good old days – the “Golden Era” of computers, it was easy to separate the men from the boys (sometimes called “Real Men” and “Quiche Eaters” in the literature). During this period, the Real Men were the ones that understood computer programming, and the Quiche Eaters were the ones that…

I love this so much. Just look at this happy fuzzderp 🥰 By /u/noah9389…

“Positive Affirmations don’t work when I question them, Jeremy.”…

Was discussing water quality in Des Moines with DL. Told her that our city couldn’t hold a candle to Ames, that their water was the “cleanest around.” Wanted to prove this but couldn’t find the 2014 viral hit “Hooray for Ames” video anywhere on the internet. GN, blessed datahoarder that he is, lucki…

See also. He was 73 years old, she was 17, and this was in 2019, when nobody had given a shit about Time’s Person of the Year for a while.…

I remember the very first burrito I had in the Mission District in San Francisco. My friend warned me that it would be “around the size of your forearm” and that, if I tried to finish it in a single sitting, I would be an idiot. It was, I did, I am 🙏 i do not fuck with any burrito without heft. i…

🇺🇸: We the Peope of the Unites States… 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿: 🤣…

The 107-page lawsuit […] accuses Mr. Giuliani of carrying out “a viral disinformation campaign about Dominion” made up of “demonstrably false” allegations, in part to enrich himself through legal fees and his podcast. You don’t say. The suit […] is based on more than 50 statements Mr. Giuliani ma…

Dylan Beattie is my new favorite nerd on YouTube.…

It would appear that my collection of batshittery is far from complete. “Gondor has no king,” the lawsuit states, a footnote providing an explanation of the woeful fate of Tolkien’s entirely imaginary land populated by dragons, wizards, hobbits and elves, all threatened by a baleful Dark Lord back…

Wait, is Bernie is wearing the same jacket from his meme at the inauguration? @thealanjohnson The pose. The mittens. The social distance. @vulture Bernie dressed like the inauguration is on his to do list today but ain’t his whole day. @MsReeezy And about those mittens: Bernie’s…

“These things aren’t panning out,” Barr told the president, standing beside his chief of staff Will Levi. “The stuff that these people are filling your ear with just isn’t true.” Barr explained that if Trump wanted to contest the election results, the president’s internal campaign lawyers would hav…

By Cameron Spires.…

New Years resolutions for 2021 are gonna be like: travel to the other side of the room wear a different shirt cut screen time from 12 hours a day to 11 eat a vegetable bathe @alyssalimp…

Not sure if this has to do with The Client’s legendary ethics and history of non-payment (one, two, three, four, five, and many, many more) or the Strike Force’s whopping 1.5% success rate. Or maybe The Genius finally realized: “Your typical role as legal counselor is to tell your client the hard…

By Amii James (Instagram). Context was the Tories but applies to our fine people stateside as well. Tory ministers saying “we owe it to children to keep schools open” might want to explain to me why they closed my youth centre, cut mental health services, underfunded my secondary school, stripped…

ROSS: “And Sasha you’ve got… is it two girls and a boy?” COHEN: “Too early to say, really.” The Jonathan Ross Show…

Surprising in many ways! A dinner at REDACTED is an unforgettable experience, not to be missed. It’s a beautiful restaurant, the food is fantastic, and you’ll be thinking about it long after the meal is over. We started with the Date & Almond Naan, which was sweet and delicious. The Butter Chick…

Via CO. Succinct and appropriate for a gamut of events. /misc/w/what-do-we-learn.mp4…

I made a bet at work that involved me eating my Crocs (if I lost, of course), prompting my co-worker to send me this story about Eric Taylor, a “former Magic: The Gathering player and highly regarded Magic columnist, especially during the earlier days of the game” (MTG Wiki), who made a similarly ha…

Taken completely out of context, for the letter itself is a lot of bro-y “locker room talk.” My mind is dried up, exhausted. I’m disgusted to be back in this damned country where you see the sun in the sky about as often as a diamond in a pig’s asshole. Gustave Flaubert, Letter to Ernest Chevalie…

once you reach a certain age if you pull an all-nighter, you die @FeelingEuphoric…

From this book that features 14 animals. Which are definitely not octopuses.…

Confirmation that I did, indeed, see a “No, Georgia the country, idiot” flag. And then there’s this surprising tidbit: The flags of Canada, Cuba, Georgia, India, Israel, South Korea, and South Vietnam were spotted in the mob. It’s unclear why many of these flags appeared, though a number of the whi…

In a 124-page complaint filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, Dominion said its reputation and resale value have been deeply damaged by a “viral disinformation campaign” that Powell mounted “to financially enrich herself, to raise her public profile, and to ingratiate herse…

I’m not a great developer, I’m just really good at finding the magic one-liner fix on the 14th page on a repo’s GitHub Issues @iamdevloper…

/misc/a/america-2021-they-pushed-me-out-they-maced-me.mp4 Perfection. By @schmoyoho and via KP.…

Lord of our lives and sovereign of our beloved nation, we deplore the desecration of the United States Capitol building, the shedding of innocent blood, the loss of life, and the quagmire of dysfunction that threaten our democracy. These tragedies have reminded us that words matter and that the po…

Asked about speculation that Mr Trump could travel to Scotland in order to avoid the inauguration, Ms Sturgeon said: "I have no idea what Donald Trump’s travel plans are, you’ll be glad to know. "I hope and expect that – as everybody expects, not everybody necessarily will hope – that th…

a GraphQL server is just a SOAP API that’s studied abroad @iamdevlopr…

And here’s our man, Shankar Kurhade, modeling my 2021 strategy given how confident I am in my state’s government fucking up vaccine distribution.…

I cannot imagine the decades of engineering that went into realizing this. “Spot” the Robot Dog doing her ballet was 💯 Bravo, Boston Dynamics for taking us that much closer to (what, for now, looks like a fun) Singularity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn3KWM1kuAw…

Dear web developers, The answer is zero. Zero. Get it through your thick skulls. Zero is the number of times anyone has EVER wanted something to autoplay on your site and start making noise. I’d honestly rather you mine crypto-currency in my browser than use my speakers. #kthxbye @MalwareJake…

I hope Dominion’s lawyers don’t underestimate the Elite Strike-Force Team’s Star Witness’ What-Do-You-Mean-I-Have-To-Make-An-Appointment-Online Energy 😬 “You gained international infamy earlier this month as Rudy Giuliani’s so-called ‘star witness’ who could supposedly corroborate outlandish accu…

Corpsing is British theatrical slang for unintentionally laughing during a non-humorous performance or when a role in a humorous performance is intended to be played “straight”. In North American TV and film, this is considered a variation of breaking character or simply “breaking”. Wikipedia He…

If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you’re taking your grandma to church. There’s a platter of biscuits and 2 gallons of sweet tea in glass jars in the back seat. She’s wearing a new dress and holding a crock pot full of gravy. @Chadsu42…

“Am I truly controlling anything?” (cached)…

From a while ago: “Rump Faker: Is imitation calamari made from pig rectum? A charming urban legend gets its start.”…

I must have watched this 14,221 times. A parody of this (real) miniseries. There’s a Part III too.…

In another sign of the lingering unrest over President Donald Trump’s election loss, an Arizona group sent the National Archives in Washington, D.C., notarized documents last week intended to deliver, wrongly, the state’s 11 electoral votes for him. Mesa resident Lori Osiecki, 62, helped created…

This includes a one paragraph “Dude… really?” from the Supreme Court over the “bid to invalidate more than 20 million votes.” So. Much. Winning.…

When conservative activist Meshawn Maddock obtained a list of allegedly dead Michigan voters, she didn’t report it to law enforcement. […] The list of 150 or so names was part of a larger file of more than 2,000 people who “voted in Wayne County by absentee ballot that are CONFIRMED deceased,” clai…

Via PLG.…

Had to cache it because this is just lovely stuff. Pretty sure I had a mini-blackout when I read the Trainspotting part 💯…

She then proceeded to attend a WH Party, of course. President Trump’s lawyer Jenna Ellis has informed associates she tested positive for the coronavirus, multiple sources tell Axios, stirring West Wing fears after she attended a senior staff Christmas party on Friday. “She had the nerve to show u…

A channel name is LEAD SYNTH FART 💯 I am a child and am fine with this.…

Operation #shitkraken appears to limping along quite well. /misc/r/rudy-carrone.mp4 A living caricature who could’ve been drunk, who was likened to an SNL character, who put out so much Can-I-See-Your-Manager Conspiracy Karen Energy she had to be shushed by the flatulent Leader of the Elite Strike-F…

To the surprise of no one (well, normal people), “The Kraken”, authored by an ex-member of the “Elite Strike-Force Team”, turned out to be a “truly awful” and unmistakably QAnon-laced lawsuit full of basic formatting, spelling, and grammatical errors that would “drive a proofreader to drink.” From a…

A lovely Techbro aside from the ongoing #shitkraken. Greg Stenstrom, another poll watcher, said that in Delaware County, 47 USB cards were missing. “As a computer scientist, an American and a patriot, it doesn’t matter who those votes were for. It was shocking to me that that could even happen,” h…

Will tag updates as I read them with amusement and disbelief. Armando Ianucci must be weeping right now. All emphases are mine. In a court filing signed by Rudy Giuliani and Marc Scaringi1 — the two remaining attorneys on the case after everyone else quit — the campaign asked for the judge to hand…

If impatient, skip to the last minute.…

Tapped this YouTube suggestion on a lazy Sunday. This man pushed my capacities for sympathy and empathy to their breaking points in this 20-minute highlight reel. I don’t know what to type here other than quote the very first sentence of his Fandom wiki page: Raj is widely regarded as one of the wo…

I created YVFT site after my Conservative voting aunt complained on Facebook that there weren’t enough police to deal with disruptive teenagers in her town. I wanted to scream, “But you voted for this!” without looking like a lunatic.…

“Hum toh doobe hain sanam, tujhe bhi leke doobenge.” Afghan Cricket Team Captain Gulbadin Naib warning Bangladesh…

Well this was certainly most unexpected. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z64XvPERZ50…

So saith Uncle Roger, who finally approved someone’s egg-fried rice. Via KP.…

I’ve lived in Iowa for a while and felt this in my soul.…

See also: The time-tested stratagem of going La La La La La. Here’s the entire conference.…

Yep. And the tweet was in the context of school openings, but college towns like Ames and Iowa City, are no exceptions (like she continues.) I say we continue to doubt the science, exercise absolutely no discipline in the interest of the economy (because the Communist Kiwis maintain zero interest in…

👉 Of all the stuff I could’ve attempted to appreciate from the genius’ collegiate notebook, I loved these annotations the most and don’t care what that says about me.…

Myrna Tellingheusen is my new favorite person on the internet ♥️…

Every. Damn. Time. by Tommy Siegel…

Took me two tries to get through this. I felt bad for Rep. Clawson but he was well-intentioned and, to CM’s point, this is the kind of “honest mistake” that can happen only in a few countries 🇺🇸 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpYdapZUU1c…

/misc/e/every-website-2019.mp4 Source. See also: Every website in 2018…

And don’t forget to vote to privatize and abolish the Fire Department by calling their experience and credentials into question! By @ShowerThoughtsComics…

The Punisher logo is genius. Via Pete.…

Ah, lovely. Absolutely lovely. Really lovely folks, let me tell you.…

Bill Burr on The Joe Rogan Experience: BURR: I don’t want to start this bullshit. I’m not gonna sit here with no medical degree, listening to you with no medical degree, with an American flag behind you smoking a cigar, acting like we know what’s up, better than the CDC. All I do, is I watch the ne…

By someone at Toggl, a software company that also makes great comics… 🤷‍♂️…

When I see a carefree runner in I-did-not-need-to-see-that shorts in windy, 5-degree weather. By @artbyjuliet.…

I’ll consider myself dead on the inside until I’m this ecstatic after sipping mushroom soup. /misc/h/happy_baby_human.mp4…

I absolutely love Dustin Curtis’ splendid explanation of “AppleTV” branding that’s making making the rounds on HN. For posterity, I stole this handy color-coded transcription off Michael Tsai’s blog. See also: The intractably stupid AppleTV Remote.…

No Code is the best way to write secure and reliable applications. Write nothing; deploy nowhere. Start by not writing any code. Brilliant. I love both the presence and contents of the Dockerfile in that repo. As is always the case with such projects, the issues and pull requests are 💯 And if one…

THE influence of Pisces upon the Sun does not make specially for strength, except in the last decanate, which is ruled by Mars. Otherwise, there is a certain softness and placidity which diminish the vitality. The Pisces type is extraordinarily psychic, more so than is the case with that of any othe…

Whenever you’re called on to make up your mind,    and you’re hampered by not having any, the best way to solve the dilemma, you’ll find,    is simply by spinning a penny. No—not so that chance shall decide the affair    while you’re passively standing there moping; but the moment the penny i…

At least in Civilization: [. . .] Gandhi tends to be the first to use nuclear weapons, and spares no expense on wiping your civilization off the map. You probably always thought you were crazy — how could a series that prides itself on historical accuracy portray Gandhi so wrong? Well, you’ll be ha…

Expression Real Distance Next door 1 - 2 miles Right up the road 5 - 10 miles Up North 15 - 100 miles A couple miles 10 - 20 miles Not too far 20 - 50 minutes A little ways Over an hour A pretty good drive 2 hours+ Drive down there Literally any direction Can attest 😆. Via.…

Via GLP, a University Title Generator that generates “prestigious” titles and associated salaries. A few random gems Associate Coordinator of the Subcommittee for Community Services Deputy Vice President of the Office of Alumni Planning Provost for the Subcommittee for Investor Diversity Vice Chair…

As the final season of HBO’s blockbuster television series Game of Thrones hits screens around the world today, audiences in China are begging for the explicit scenes of sex and violence not to be censored. [. . .] Disgruntled viewers in China have previously compared the significantly edited versi…

Garrett Whisten made a most amazing CVS receipt generator (cached). He even wrote a scraper that gets real product names off their website 🙏 🙌…

Oh how I love a good David Mitchell rant. This one’s on avoiding taxation via pension contributions: [. . . ] what we’re essentially saying is that people get to choose, if they’re rich, how much they reckon they out to pay. Where on this moral scale do they place themselves, what can they square w…

The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it. Lawdamercy…

The original comic…

Via co-worker DH. Dara Ó Briain on how Racism is better than Astrology: Racism is one of the worst social evils they can imagine. “How dare you do that?” they say. "How dare you ascribe to me personality traits? You don’t even know me, but you tell me that you know me, and you know these thing…

Roel Nieskens “leveraged the synergy of ligatures” to create a free typeface called Sans Bullshit Sans. It turns this The value proposition of our agile mindset and scrum methodology is to enable the emergence of disruptive, convergent, crowdsourced platforms that allow our clients to lean in and e…

Ankeny or Saudi Arabia? If you had to choose one to live in, which would you pick? Depends. One is full of religious wackos, and the other one is in a desert. – /r/desmoines…

SM, reminiscing I was 15 when I first came to the United States. Detroit. There was nothing worth eating in Detroit. Except fudge. And White Castle. And Cheetos.…

Nick Murray Willis does brilliant “animated treatments” of commentary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oyn067BJGEE…

/misc/e/every-website-2018.mp4 Source…

“https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA4UZMHTjRA” 05/08/18 lol…

A mother in suburban Chicago breathes a huge sigh of relief this week, as she was reunited with her 8-year-old son Kevin, who was accidentally left at home alone as the family went on vacation to Paris. Apparently no one had noticed the boy was missing on their drive to the airport and through airp…

XKCD IRL FTW. Sam Pizzey registered a company named ; DROP TABLE “COMPANIES”;-- LTD and wrote about it.…